Myths about Counselling that prevent people from seeking help

The biggest misconception surrounding mental health is that the symptoms will be obvious like a broken bone or a fever. Most often times mental health issues develop quietly, slowly, over time. For example, anxiety may begin to show itself through constant insomnia, fatigue, irritability (for no apparent reason), or the feeling of being stuck. Despite these common signs of a mental health concern, many individuals who would greatly benefit from counseling do not seek it out. The reasons why they do not are typically due to myths, cultural beliefs and misconceptions regarding counseling and its use. Once we understand the myths we can work towards removing them and creating a culture where asking for help is viewed positively rather than negatively.

Perhaps the largest misconception about counseling is that it is limited to individuals in crisis such as individuals suffering from serious depression, bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. While this misconception can create a barrier (gatekeeping) to access; it also limits the potential population of individuals who can benefit from counseling. Individuals that suffer from stress related issues, relationship problems, grief and/or feel like they are at a standstill may dismiss their concerns as "not bad enough" to consider help. Counseling is used both preventatively and to address existing problems.

As an individual maintains their physical health by going to the gym, therapy provides the opportunity to maintain your emotional/psychological health prior to reaching a breaking point. Additionally, many individuals view seeking help as a sign of weakness. Although this belief attacks an individual's perception of their ability, it attacks an individual's sense of identity. In some cultures, especially those that value independence and self-sufficiency, individuals may believe that requiring assistance indicates failure. However, seeking support takes an immense amount of awareness and courage. Acknowledging when you are struggling, and then actively working to correct the issue, demonstrates two vastly different attitudes: enduring pain without resolution versus resolving the cause of the pain. Denying your emotions does not demonstrate strength; it merely prolongs or worsens the inevitable confrontation with those feelings.

This concept of requiring professional help is closely related to the false premise that loved ones can provide adequate support. While friends/family members can provide comfort and support; they cannot replace the benefits provided by a trained counselor. Friends/family members have their own emotional interests in the situation, which can interfere with objective listening. They may either minimize your feelings, provide unwanted advice, or eventually become exhausted by continuing discussions about the same issue. Not because they are unwilling to assist, but because they are human beings and are emotionally invested in the subject matter. On the other hand, a trained therapist has an environment that includes confidentiality and nonjudgmental treatment.

Furthermore, a trained counselor has the advantage of possessing knowledge and experience that enables him/her to focus solely on assisting you with your specific needs. This distinction between receiving support from loved ones vs. receiving support from a trained therapist is important, however it is frequently overlooked in light of a third misconception: that if you require counseling then there is something inherently wrong with you. When emotional distress is associated with identity, mental health difficulties tend to receive less compassion than physical health challenges. No one generally believes that there is anything wrong with someone when they see a physical therapist for a sore back. However, emotional distress is frequently believed to be reflective of one's personality characteristics rather than as part of the normal experience of being human. Stigma related to mental health discourages individuals from seeking help early in the progression of manageable issues that ultimately become more ingrained.

Therefore, the negative stigma against seeking help contributes to an ongoing cycle of shame as individuals avoid seeking help initially.

Among those who get beyond the stigma of mental illness there exists another obstacle skepticism of whether counseling will produce any actual results. Sometimes, individuals may think of therapy (counseling) as some form of "free-vent" session where the client talks about his/her feelings and thoughts with little structure or purpose other than to talk. Most forms of current therapy (e.g., cognitive behavioral therapy, solution focused therapy, etc.) however are very structured and goal oriented based on research. A therapist is trained to assist a client in identifying areas of difficulty and/or patterns that prevent them from achieving their goals by providing them with strategies to cope with these issues and ultimately achieve success. Therefore, the myth that a person is merely receiving sympathy rather than assistance in addressing their concerns does not fit within the realm of current practice. Furthermore, if we layer this myth over several others (i.e. your issues aren't bad enough to require treatment, seeking treatment means you are weak, family members/friends will be sufficient, there is something wrong with you for requiring additional support, and/or therapy won't work anyway), then it is simple to understand how many individuals elect to remain silent regarding their needs.

In addition to the above stated myths having negative consequences for an individual and society, these myths play out in very tangible ways. Individuals often delay obtaining treatment for mental illnesses until they reach crisis levels which were avoidable with earlier intervention. Anxiety and depression that go untreated lead to damaged interpersonal relationships, decreased productivity at work, increased physical health problems and, in extreme cases, self harm/suicide. Stigma has also created intergenerational silences around the expression of emotion, i.e. children learn early in their lives to hide their feelings, and continue to exhibit this behavior even though they may have forgotten the original myths. Additionally, there is a quiet price associated with hiding one's pain, i.e. the isolation of feeling alone while enduring emotional distress. Many individuals report a tremendous amount of relief once they feel heard by someone during the process of seeking therapy. Had stigma not existed, much of this emotional pain could have been alleviated many months/years prior.

Ultimately changing the social norms associated with perceived myths surrounding counseling requires more than raising awareness through media campaigns. Changing social norms requires open dialogue throughout communities to promote acceptance and normalization of seeking help. When public figures advocate for the benefits of therapy (and therefore break down stigmas associated with using therapy); when employers include mental health as part of organizational development (as opposed to an after thought); and when families demonstrate emotionally healthy behaviors (as opposed to avoiding emotional expressions), the ability for myths to inhibit individuals' decision making processes begins to decrease.

Counseling is an acknowledgment of our limitations as humans and a willingness to invest in ourselves in order to live a more complete and sustainable life. It is not an indication of failure but rather a proactive approach to developing emotional strength and understanding oneself in order to better deal with adversity. By acknowledging that myths are nothing more than misperceived beliefs and not fact-based realities, we create an environment conducive to helping individuals view seeking help as a means to improve their quality of life. If you are experiencing a difficult period in your life and need help finding resources or reaching out to a counselor or support hotline, please take advantage of this opportunity. Adayu – A Fortis Network Hospital is committed to supporting individuals before emotional struggles become overwhelming. If any part of this article resonates with you, know that you do not have to wait for a crisis to seek help. Our team of mental health professionals provides a safe, confidential, and non-judgmental space to help you better understand your emotions and build healthier ways of coping. Seeking support is not a sign of weakness it is a step towards emotional well-being.