Ready for Counselling But Still Not Going? Here's What's Really Stopping You

Know counselling could help but haven't been able to book a session yet? Explore the real barriers to seeking therapy; and simple, practical ways to move past them.

There is a certain type of moment that many people will relate to. It's late at night, or a quiet morning, and the thought comes clearly to mind: "I think I should speak to someone." The search bar gets opened and a psychologist’s profile gets viewed. Maybe even twice. Then the tab closes. The phone goes back onto the table. And nothing happens.

This is not a story about doubting therapy. This is a story about the gap between deciding that something is important to you and taking an action for it, a gap that almost everyone has experienced at least once for very understandable reasons.

If this resonates with you, this article was written for you.

Knowing You Need Help Isn't the Same as Getting Help

Realizing that counselling may be beneficial is a genuine first step. However, intent and action run on different fuels. Life is filled with real world, psychological, and logistical obstacles that sit in between making an effort to take action to do something you recognize is important to you. Deadlines, uncertainty, past experiences, concerns about what other people may say about your decision to seek help.

These are some of the most frequent barriers to seeking therapy. Understanding these barriers is often the key to being able to ultimately overcome them.

The Real Barriers - And Ways Through Each One

1. Cost and Affordability concerns

Counselling can feel like a long-term financial commitment with unclear timeline. Therefore, it is easy to keep delaying. A practical way to navigate this challenge is to inquire about session formats, pricing, or shorter-term goal-focused counselling before assuming it's out of reach. Many individuals find that engaging in a single conversation with a psychologist regarding potential costs and session structures reduces their uncertainty greatly.

2. Scheduling and availability restrictions

With work, childcare and other obligations, scheduling a consistent weekly appointment may seem like yet another obligation that cannot be managed. Fortunately, flexible scheduling formats such as online counselling sessions allow clients to incorporate their support needs into their existing schedules rather than needing to recreate an entire schedule based upon their counselling appointments.

3. Fear of being judged family or community

While many may be hesitant to pursue counselling due to concern about how it may be perceived within their family or community, it is crucial to understand that counselling represents a private and confidential environment, nothing discussed within the context of counselling needs to be disclosed to anyone until, and unless, the client wishes to do so.

4. Difficulty finding the “right” counsellor 

Searching through various psychologist profiles, specialisations, and approaches can be overwhelming and provide enough justification for avoiding the process altogether. A brief introductory call provides an opportunity for prospective clients to determine if a given counsellor is a suitable match without forcing them to make this decision alone.

5. Fear of being emotionally vulnerable

Opening to someone new, especially when discussing difficult emotions and experiences, can feel overwhelming. One should note that counselling allows for flexible pacing. Clients disclose information they are ready to share at a pace they're comfortable with. Trust is something that builds session by session, not a requirement of day one. 

6. Uncertainty regarding what to say during sessions

One common reason why many people do not seek out counselling is because they are unsure of what they would talk about during their initial sessions. Counselling does not follow a pre-set "script." An example of an opening statement could be as simple as saying, "I am not certain where to begin, however I need some support." Psychologists are trained to assist the individual through the dialogue and conversation process once they indicate a willingness to explore their concerns and issues.

7. A past experience that did not meet expectations.

If you experienced an unsatisfactory encounter with a therapist previously, it is natural to feel uncertain or fearful about returning to the profession. However, each counsellor has their own style, format, and approach. Therefore, it is likely that you will have a vastly different experience than the previous one.

Let the First Step Be a Small One

Beginning counselling does not necessarily require making a big decision immediately. Counselling may begin with a small conversation. This initial meeting requires no long-term commitment, no fixed plan, nothing that needs to be figured out in advance.

Your first step could be a phone consultation to learn how sessions operate. Or perhaps your first step would be a virtual session, since it seems less intimidating to initiate from a space that is already somewhat familiar and comfortable. There's no one correct way to start, and there's no need to have it all figured out before reaching out.

The process itself is designed to unfold gradually and at a pace that feels safe. Your psychologist will meet you where you are, and how much you share, and how quickly, is entirely for you to choose.

You Don't Have to Find the "Right" Starting Point Alone

Support does not have to look the same for all. Many individuals find that participating in a regular counselling session provides them with the support needed; a safe environment to discuss issues, be heard and build coping for managing life over time. And wherever one is in this process, having all the exact steps figured beforehand is not needed. Your psychologist will help you in developing that clarity through the initial conversations. 

If any of this feels familiar, know that hesitation only means that the path doesn’t feel clear yet. Whenever you feel ready, reaching out to a counsellor is a perfectly good first step, and Adayu-A Fortis Network Hospital, is one option for you at whatever pace you find comfortable.